I find myself asking “Why me?” a lot. I will humbly admit, I
sometimes find that life has given me the short end of the stick. Just like
most people, I want life to go my way 100% of the time. But, life never goes
that way. I strongly believe that we all have a time in our lives where our
entire outlook on life changes. I have had this moment and now I wish I had a
tale of an epic rodeo saga where I bravely looked into the sunset finally
realizing that this was my purpose in life. But this is not the case. Frankly,
this had nothing to do with rodeo and I was at my weakest.
At the beginning of the summer, I would’ve been fine with
never roping another day in my life. I had decided that rodeo was petty and
selfish. But God had another plan for me. June 12, 2015. I was sitting at the Wyoming
High School State finals and a girl on the rodeo team texted me saying…
Someone in our team got killed in a car
accident.
As one can imagine, I began to panic. I ran through every
person on my team while I waited for the text telling me who it was.
Eventually, I just called her.
Tyler. The Tyler I had known since freshman year. The Tyler
that was always there. My next reaction was to call him. Nothing. Again I found
myself asking “Why?”, but instead this time I was asking “Why God?” Months pass
and eventually I was asked to write this blog on my summer rodeo season, that I
wasn’t really doing, and on a God that I was even sure cared.
Slowly, I began to listen to God. I used to think God had
never been there or he was testing me. But actually, God was always there for
me, I just needed to listen. My dilemma was continuously questioning God about
taking Tyler. To be honest, I’m not sure I will ever understand why such an
amazing person had to leave us so soon. But to everything there is a season and
a time to every purpose under the heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1).
In July, I was able to get to see Lily and Sarah at the High
School National Finals. When I was there I felt the rush and intensity of it
all. From that point on, I knew this is what I wanted. I was driven. I roped
every chance and when I wasn’t roping, I was thinking about roping. I knew that
I wanted to be there next year and I was going to do everything in my power to
get there. But roping is not my purpose; Rodeo is not my purpose. As it says in Matthew 28:19, “Therefore go and make disciples of all
nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the
Holy Spirit.” My purpose is to spread the word of God, living each day to
his Glory. Now by no means do I do this all the time and I have my low points.
But through everything I have come to realize that I cannot get through this
life without God and I try my best to live like he wants us all to.
Maybe Tyler’s purpose was to show us how to be kind and love
one another and his death was to make us all realize we need to be kind and
love one another. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of Tyler. Think about
his smile, his humor, his kindness. But thanks to him I have been able to see a
glimpse of the way the Lord wants us all to be. Tyler, like all of us, wasn’t
perfect. But he was by far the best person I’ve known on this earth.
As my summer comes to an end, I have won the Wyoming State
Fair Breakaway Roping, bought a new rope horse for college, grown closer to the
Lord, and am trying to make him proud each day. And each day I think of my
friend that has given me so much.